Jonathans Report:
COWBELL 12 HOUR RACE REPORT
It was a foggy morning as Kristin and I took off at 6:45am headed for my first solo attempt at a 12 hour endurance race. I was excited to race as Kristin was excited to use her newly purchased Cannon camera. We met up with Joe who was also attempting his first solo, Chris and Barret who were riding in the 2-man division. As we pulled into the venue I noticed that all the wonderful NC red clay had turned to peanut butter from the strong thunderstorms that rolled through on Friday night. Oh boy, a course I have never ridden before and it is going to be slick as snot, sign me up! As Joe and I checked in Barret and Chris set up our pop up tent thanks to Paul and his shop Harrel’s Bicycle World. So we had our electronic timing chips and it was time to race. The race started with a LeMan’s style start. This meant we were running about ¾ of a mile to our bikes and then riding the first lap. Chris who acclaimed to be more of a runner than a biker made a hasty attempt to be the first to the bike since there was a prize for this. He was second, sorry Chris. So off we went on a very crowded first lap. Things were as expected very slick in the beginning. The course was fantastic. Two open fire road climbs and the rest was all beautiful single track through the trees. After passing and being passed quite a few times, I rolled out of the trees with my first lap behind me. I met up with “The Angel” (Kristin has adopted this name from me for providing super-star support) for an extra bottle and off I went. The second lap went by with no problems and I quickly swapped bottles and food out with the Angel again. The third lap brought upon my first mishap of the race. About halfway through my lap, I heard “on your left” and watched as Rich Dillen lapped me. Yes that’s correct I was being lapped in the first 3 hours of the race. Yeeeeeeeee Haaaaaaawww! Shortly after that I made an attempt to “get fancy” bunny hopping a log (haven’t I learned my lesson from the Adventure race?) and pointed my wheel at a willing tree. I pulled of a graceful fall and surveyed my bike for damage. Broke a spoke on the front wheel, oh well, I tucked it into some other spokes and took off watching my front wheel weeble wobble down the trail. The next few laps went off fine and were a ton of fun. The middle of these races is where I have the most fun. The Angel kept me hydrated and cold towels on me as I continued laps. My main goal for this race was to keep a steady pace and not rest in-between laps so my body wouldn’t shut down. Around lap who knows, I started to get a cramp in my inner thigh. It was from throwing my leg over the bike since I was now walking the steep sections. I requested salt from the Angel and on the next lap she and Heather (Joe’s wife) produced a bag of white cheddar popcorn. MMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, the Angel shoved popcorn in my mouth and I chewed with all my might. I used my Zen Master skills taught to me by “The Tao of Pooh” to stave off the cramps on the next few laps. It was working and my legs got their second wind. So here I was in the last 3 hours of the race with no idea what place I was in and I didn’t care. I knew I had a respectable amount of mileage for my first attempt and I wanted to do one night lap and have a “victory” beer. So I got my lights from the Angel and headed out for my 10th and final lap. So I thought. . . I passed all the neat trail features I had come to know so well in 10 laps. I paid my respects to the hills bidding them adieu. I said goodbye to the little rock garden that always said clunk-galump as I rode across it. There was a special spot I was waiting to greet on my last lap of happiness. It was a balloon hanging from some caution tape that was marking the trail. I had deemed this the “Elated Balloon of Happiness EBOH” since it was within a half mile of the finish line. The balloon and I had grown very fond of each other throughout the race and I was excited to say goodbye and never see my friend again. There it was! Bye-bye little baaaaaaallooooooooon. I pumped the pedals hard knowing a juicy adult beverage was an Angel’s wing away. Do you remember what your teacher’s in school always said to you before tests? I believe it went something like this. “Make sure you read the ENTIRE question before you start your answer.” Well I apparently was answering the questions without reading the ENTIRE question. I heard the generator from the timing tent and pumped even harder. I crossed the finish line and the timing chip made its beeeeeeep beep noise to confirm my arrival. Woooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooo. I looked up and said “I’m done.” The race director looked at me and said “One more to go!” Maybe this moron didn’t understand “I’m done.” I had the wrong answer, here was the question. If you want to “stop” you have to cross the finish line after 9:00 pm and before 10:00 pm for your lap and race to count. It was 8:45. . . If I would have waited with my friend EBOH for 15 minutes I would have been able to stop and my race would have been over. Since I crossed the line, I had to go again or receive a DNF (Did not *&^%$# finish). I WAS BETRAYED! I cussed I was pissed. Seven more miles sounded like 700 more miles. After getting over my rush of emotion, the Angel and I stood at the first hill. The Angel said “You can cry here, or you can cry on your bike.” (A quote from Tinker Juarez during the RAAM) Then the Angel said something very devilish “Now get your ASS up that hill.” The last lap was full of pain and laughter. I was in pain and the trail was laughing. All the features I had said goodbye too were now looking at me with bewilderment as I rolled by. Gu wrappers looked like frogs, roots were Amazon pythons nipping at my ankles. I thought for sure the Earth’s rotation was causing me to go backwards. I longed for my buddy EBOH. I got round to the last bit of trail and I thought I was going blind. Oh no it was just because my light was losing power. I finally saw it. Was it a mirage? No, IT’S MY FRIEND EBOH!!! The generator sound and beeeep beep. I was done with 11 minutes to spare before my last lap didn’t count. I traveled the course 11 times for 77 miles. 12th out of 33 solo riders. A super special thanks to Kristin! Without her support I might have done one lap. Another thanks to Carolyn for providing the cowbells!JONATHN DID THAT LAST LAP HURT?You bet your ASS it did.
